Top Ten Tuesday: Lemony Snicket Quotes

This week’s Top Ten Tuesday prompt is Book Quotes that Fit X Theme. I’m really bad at remembering specific quotes from books, much less deciding on a specific theme to pair quotes with. (I really need to get a notebook or something to keep track.) While I was perusing my abandoned Pinterest boards for quotes, I kept finding ones from A Series Unfortunate Events and I remembered how much I love Lemony Snicket’s writing style. So I thought, why not just list ten great Lemony Snicket quotes for today’s prompt? So here you go. Ten Lemony Snicket quotes that make me laugh.

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.“

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”

“If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means ‘flunk.'”

“If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, ‘Well this isn’t too bad, I don’t have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I’m left-handed or right-handed,’ but most of us would say something more along the lines of, ‘Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!'”

“Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it would be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it.”

“It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.”

“‘Composer’ is a word which here means ‘a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.”’This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.

“The table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.”

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”

Which authors do you think have fun quotes? Don’t forget to join the link-up!

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